Introduction

A national movement to permanently remove the scourge of sexual harassment from our society and culture.

Your Membership provides access to our Sexual Self Defense Online Forum where you can ask questions, get answers and help others learn how to avoid harrassment and level the playing field. A Level the Playing Field Button (right) is included with your membership.

Your Donation supports our efforts to expand the Sexuality Self Defense Movement, provide educational materials, and help interested parties learn how to avoid unwanted sexual advances in the future.

Visit our sister website www.gotteenagers.com where you can learn about getting help with your troubled teen and our innovative Language of Power© program and how it not only applies to Sexuality Self Defense but also to communication strategies with teenagers.

Sexuality Self Defense (SSD) is a new national movement to help permanently remove the scourge of sexual harassment from our society and culture. In order to get there, we will need to learn how to not give our power away to others.

You can learn to handle sexual harrassment

WHY? Because our society has recognized and validated the appropriate pathway for authentic sexual expression, we (you) can use it as the foundation or starting point for dealing with an unwanted sexual advance. Why? Because whenever any of us fail to follow the “rules” we immediately need to be reminded of how we have violated them ( see The Authentic Expression of Sexuality section of our website). Healthy sexuality is always initiated without words. Eye contact. A meaningful and perhaps lingering look. And it always is consensual. A two-way street. Or else it doesn't happen. Sexuality cannot be contained by our (left-brain) intellect. It always begins with non- verbal communication.

HOW? “Oh, Mr. Boss, didn't you know? That's not the way sexuality works. You can't start it without reciprocity! Mr. Boss, it always has to be a two-way street! You look at someone, they look at you—and—MAYBE—the magic begins! But maybe it doesn't, too. I'm sorry you weren't able to learn this as a teen or as a young man. No matter. Like they say, its never too late to learn…”

See How To Instantly Take Down A Perp Without Even Working Up A Sweat!

QUESTION

When a would-be perp discovers that you are perfectly comfortable talking about sexuality just as if you were talking about the weather, what's he (usually a “he”) going to do?

Is he comfortable? Or might he suddenly want to get out of there as fast as possible?

Learn how to be relaxed and confident talking openly about sexuality. Join with others to both give and receive advice about specific perp-induced situations. A semi-annual membership is $35. It comes with both a button and a tee shirt. Let's begin to use peer pressure and the power of numbers to openly challenge the abuse of power that is generated by our male-dominated culture.

Who we are

The founder of Sexuality Self Defense is an experienced and skilled social worker (LSW, BCD, CMFT, CFC) with over 45 years experience working in social and legal environments.

Learn how to take back your power

and never accept being harrassed again

Get on board with a Level the Playing Field tee shirt

Show your support and help our movement grow by purchasing a tee shirt for yourself or multiple tees for your group or organization.

The reason sexuality is so scary and threating for just about all of us is not only because it's a natural biological force. Not only because it is a law unto itself. Not only because it always involves power.

It is because we cannot use our left brain hemisphere to contain it, manage it, structure it or control it. It is non verbal communication. We can't figure it out. We can't dissect it. We have nothing we can compare it to. We can't predict it. We can't use our left brain intellectual reasoning and logic on it! It just is. And we're all stuck with it.

But what we can do is learn—through trial and error—as teens and young adults (before we have an adult brain) to follow the cultural rules—The Rules of Romance.

Perpetrators always violate these rules. When we can respond to any unwanted sexual advance not with judgement but simply as a lack of learning—learning these rules—we instantly take a perp's power away and leave him floundering.

You have questions? This is the place to ask them.

Submit a question through our

Issues and Answers form or

join our Interactive Forum.

Demystifying sexuality

Does someone who initiates a sexual advance know beforehand that it is not wanted? Is it safe to conclude that most all unwanted sexual communication comes from people who know better? Because of the context? Because of the immediate response they get?

Are perpetrators looking for a reaction? Does he (usually a he!) have an agenda? How do we respond without giving him any satisfaction? Can we come up with a response that describes his behavior as an omission—something he forgot to learn as he came of age? When we are able to deprive him of the satisfaction of receiving a reaction, what then?

Sexuality Self Defense (SSD) is all about not giving our power away to others. When we learn how to do this the other person is baffled, doesn't know how to respond (is often himself embarrassed) and usually retreats. Such is the power of SSD.

The Power of

Sexuality Self Defense

Help Level the Playing Field with our quality 100% cotton tee shirt available in XL,L, M and S. Available in white only.

Why sign up?

All the information you need to at least practice how to handle sexual harassment is already included on this site for free. And “Practice makes perfect”. Eventually.

If you individually learn, through diligence, practice, focus and hard work how to speak assertively and confidently about sexual expression and how it works (can any perp or potential perp do that?) it could be a milestone in your life. And perhaps leading to confidence and self-assurance and feeling much more powerful as you continue your journey.

But what about others not as fortunate or as gifted or as talented as you? If we don't address the entire system—the root cause of all this—our website may turn out to be an eventual failure. Just another way station on the pathway. Just another brick in the wall. (Pink Floyd)

We all know where it starts --- a male dominated culture.

Whatever happened to taking drunks home and letting them “sleep it off”? Mothers Against Drunk Driving and other organized groups. How about people smoking anywhere and everywhere? The U.S. Surgeon General's Report and all the applied pressure from the scientific research. We are all ½ female and ½ male. Basically. How does one half go about changing the other half?

How about peer pressure? (The Join the Club book).

How about would be perpetrators and aggressive males fueled by the dominant culture being met anywhere and everyhere with buttons that say LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD? And the tees. And perhaps sweatshinrts. And dozens of other visual reminders on clothing, jewelry, signs, whatever, constantly reminding the other half that it is NOT a LEVEL PLAYING FIELD and we won't quit until it is?

Is this worth $35?

What do you think?

__________

Here's a little more food for thought: " In recent weeks, men who were accused of harassment and misconduct have appeared to begin planting the seeds for career comebacks"

USA Today, 4/30/18

" Throughout the course of our lifetime, men always survive these accusations. Their careers are not derailed. They go on with their lives. They make the same money and maybe more money"

Tori Van Pelt

President, National Organization For Women

USA Today, 4/30/18

Why Sign Up for Sexuality Self Defense

Why believe anything

on this website?

Disclaimer:

ManifestDestinyPLS@gmail.com

Have you ever experienced an intrusive

and unwanted sexual advance?

Do you know how painful that can be?

And how difficult it is to maintain your composure?