A national movement to permanently remove the scourge of sexual harassment from our society and culture.

Why believe anything on this website?

DISCLAIMER I

Why would you want to believe anything that is on this website?

The creator has:

- No PhD

- written no books

- never been on TV

- does not work for some prestigious university research laboratory

- does not go around the country giving expensive seminars at fancy hotels, etc.

So why believe?

The secret is that sexualityselfdefense.org is not really about sex and sexuality per se! It's about communication.

How to communicate effectively.

(The creator is pretty good at that.)

So trash all the theory and focus only on the communication. (If you wish.)

The secret to effective communication is to interrupt (disrupt?) the communicational flow – – the (expected/assumed) pattern of the communication. But do it in such a way that it appears to be completely normal to do so! Like asking someone to please pass the ketchup at the dinner table. For a perfect example of this access the John Hartford song Station Break.

It works like a charm for parents dealing with unruly teenagers.

And for educators with a room full of (potentially) disruptive students.

And for people who work with teens in juvenile justice.

And so of course you can make it work for you in dealing with sexual perpetrators.

Ask for our document Before You Begin. Free.

No obligation.

“We don't smoke marijuana in Muscogee

We don't take our trips on LSD

We don't burn our draft cards down on Main Street

We like livin' right and being free

We don't make a party out of lovin'

We like holdin' hands and pitchin' woo

We don't let our hair grow long and shaggy

Like the hippies out in San Francisco do

Leather boots are still in style for manly footwear

Beads and Roman sandals won't be seen

Football's still the roughest thing on campus

And the kids here still respect the college dean'

I'm proud to be an Okie from Muskogee

A place where even squares can have a ball

We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse

And white lightnin's still the biggest thrill of all”

(Merle Haggard)

DISCLAIMER II

Purity culture (is) a term for teachings that stress sexual abstinence before marriage… I…find myself mourning the loss of the coherent sexual ethic that purity culture had to offer. Is consent culture (sexual expression based in consent, mutuality and care) the best we have in its place?

When a person engages another person sexually…its not “just” bodies enacting natural evolutionary urges but also an encounter with another soul…

Even the nonreligious attest that in sex, something “more” is happening, however shrouded that more might be.

A sexual ethic centered on consent…feels flimsy…Two people can consent to something that's nonetheless damaging or selfish…it does not necessarily protect against people using one another…Purity culture as it was modeled…in the 1990s is not the future…but neither is the…approach that simply baptizes casual sex in the name of self-expression and divorces sex from covenant faithfulness…

While I hate the effects that purity culture had on young women like me, I still find the traditional Christian vision for married sex radical, daunting and extremely compelling…even if I fumble along the way.”

Katelyn Beaty

NYT

6/16/19