A Disruptive Teenager in A High School Setting

Positive Peer Integration© (PPI)

An example from real life

1) The Incident

  (from the Allentown Morning Call, April 18.2016)

2) The Solution

3) The LANGUAGE OF POWER

The Incident

(from the Allentown Morning Call, April 18.2016)

On a November afternoon, a special education middle school student came into his classroom rapping and singing, according to a discipline report.

"Please get into your seat," the teacher said, according to the report. "Silent voices please."

But the student kept talking over the teacher, even when she told him to be quiet.

The teacher told the student to "calm down."

But the student stood up and said, "I'm getting the f--- out of here."

He kept walking toward the teacher, who backed up. Other students cried out, "Go get 'em," "Don't let her take you down for bein' you," "We got you, bro."

"Get out of my classroom," the teacher yelled. "Get out. You are making me feel unsafe."

The student left the class. The teacher asked another teacher to watch her class for a few minutes so she could regain her composure, according to the discipline report.

"When I came back into my classroom, my heart was beating so fast, and I felt like my safety was in danger," the teacher wrote in the report.

The next period, the student wrote an apology letter. "Dear Miss --, I am sorry for cursing at you, and I hope you feel better."

               The Solution

"A special education middle school student came into his classroom rapping and singing".

“What? Are you a rapper?”, asked the teacher (trained in PPI). “Tell you what (looks at her watch), I'll give you two minutes. Go for it.”

The student sheepishly complied. When he was done, the teacher turned to the class and asked, “Good enough for U-tube? What do you all think?”

This teacher instantly took back her power from the disruptive student and the whole class knew it. She then consolidated her power by involving the entire class in judging the qualities of the “performance.”

Simply by how she communicated..

THE  LANGUAGE OF POWER© ( LOP)

Imagine that the teacher who had to deal with the student disruption described in The Incident  was already trained in the LOP and so became our hypothetical teacher of The Solution. How was she able to do what she did?

By engaging the disruptive student in such a manner, this teacher:

responded only to what the student was doing.

forced him to choose between accepting the teacher's offer or doing something else      

showed no reaction to the delay in starting class on time.

immediately changed the focus of the other students from wondering how she (the teacher) was going to handle the disruptive student to how the student himself was going to respond to the teacher's offer.

What skills and knowledge base did she use in order to do this?

The teacher's ( communicational) interaction with the teen immediately begins to shift the balance of power from the student to herself. She then consolidates her power over the teen by asking the class to "judge" his performance.

Are there other ways she could have responded and reached the same end result? Of course. She could have smiled, waited and said nothing. And motioned to the other students to shh! and listen. (signaling to then that she was not at all perturbed  or upset). When the student finally ran out of gas without getting any response, she could have kept smiling, remained silent and continued to signal to the class to remain silent too. This would have ultimately forced the student to

seek some sort of response from either the teacher or the class. And there are of course other avenues the dialogue could have taken.

All of this was made possible because the teacher began to take back her power from the disruptive student simply by how she communicated. ( The LOP trains educators and parents to use the way they communicate to take back their power from contentious teens or to not give their power away to teens in the first place.)

This approach is called the LANGUAGE OF POWER © ( LOP) and it was developed from thirteen years of running a school for certified disruptive students in southeastern Pennsylvania. It is the ultimate solution to deviant teen behavior at school. The LOP consists of eleven Principles plus THE FIRST RULE IN THE BOOK and THE BIGGEST MISTAKE we adults make over and over again when dealing with adolescents. Here is how the hypothetical teacher used the LOP to take control  (regain her power):

PRINCIPLE #2: The Structure Comes Out Of The Interaction. The teacher "responded only to what the student was doing". She didn't attempt to impose her own agenda. She didn't add anything to what the student was giving her but only reacted to the content of his communication.

PRINCIPLE #3: Make No Judgments. The teacher said nothing about her own agenda of getting class started and doing what she is paid to do—educate. Or about the intent of the student.

PRINCIPLE #5: Be Relentlessly Positive. She showed no reaction whatsoever to the delay in starting class.

PRINCIPLE #7: Give Up The Need To Be Right. She didn't remind the student that she was in charge and he wasn't. Or that she didn't need a high school diploma but he did.

PRINCIPLE#9: HOW HIGH THE MOON? Always expect teenagers to be able to handle whatever is on their plate at any given moment. By following all the other Principles, the teacher is in effect conveying to the student that she knows he indeed has the ability to act appropriately, settle down and behave. She doesn't treat him as a second class emotional cripple! She is able to do this because she started with the PRINCIPLES #2 and #3. No teenager ever really wants to be treated as being less than. When we as the adults create a climate within which all teens are expected to act as emerging young adults ( regardless of their previous life experiences) they almost always will. (This is a core tenet of applied sociology. It is also the secret of motivational speakers and influential people in general).

PRINCIPLE #1: Force Teens To Make Choices. She forced the student to choose between accepting her offer to sing for 2 minutes or doing something else.

What if the student, having been put in the spotlight, became even more disruptive? In the original incident, the class backed the teen with their (unsolicited) comments. Why? Because he continued to hold all the power in the interaction because the (untrained  in the LOP) teacher had initially ( rightfully) attempted to impose her own agenda ( " silent voices please"). Because the teen chose to disrespect her authority (power) as the teacher, she had no way to force compliance. But in the hypothetical example, because the teacher began to take back her power by how she communicated— and the whole class knew it—the class will think twice about immediately siding with the student.

So if the student continued to disrupt, the trained teacher could begin to use them  ( the other students themselves) as allies rather than adversaries.

Student: begins to yell and scream.

Teacher: ( to class): " Could someone please tell Jaquan that if he doesn't chill I will have to take this to the next level? Do you all really want to see Jaquan get in trouble with the Principal just because he may be having a bad day like we all do at times?"

This is PRINCIPLE #4: Ask Questions Don't Make Statements

And so the teacher and her class finally arrive at  PRINCIPLE #10: Paint Them Into A Corner. The teen, absent the support of his peers, is forced to choose between finally settling down or being disciplined for his continuing behavior.

Teenagers do not yet have an adult brain. They are not playing with a full deck. And so they can't possibly think like adults. The LOP teaches us how to engage teens based on how they think and not on how we adults think.

This is the solution to controlling out-of-control teens in school situations.

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